How 'bout them apples?

This past weekend brought a sweet, delightfully sunny afternoon of apple picking in Winchester, VA with family.  We had been tempted to cancel based on discouraging weather reports of rain and more rain, but we took the gamble and it paid off! We went to Marker-Miller Orchards, the land of apples trees, wagon rides, and playground equipment. There was even some sort of festival going on so there was face painting, booths of kettle corn and barbecue and a bluegrass band set up playing.

Nate was all about getting the best apples, although it took both hands and a leaning-back-pull for him to get them. Turns out apple picking with a toddler becomes a gigantic photo-op...so fun!

We spent all afternoon among the trees, taking the wagon ride around the farm, and running around the playground trying out all the different pieces of equipment: a pirate ship, a castle, a small train, among some swings and a sand box.

I did end up riding the kiddie cow-train with Nate, there were two cars big enough to fit an adult and kid....although it was a bit of a tight fit! The second time Nate sat in his own car, but since there weren't enough kids to fill up the train, I rode along too. As I settled in for my second go round, the nine year old sitting in the cow in front of me looked back and said, "I feel too old for this."....I had no response.

We left with a solid two bags of apples....my plan is to attempt a homemade apple pie sometime this week....I'm sure there will be pictures of that to come!

Quantico National Cemetery

We said goodbye to my Grandpa back in March.  We held a small funeral for family and friends in an outdoor pavilion at Quantico National Cemetery.  Headstones take up to five weeks to come in after ordering and as of yet, I had not had a chance to go back and see where Grandpa had been buried.  So with another day of waiting for a job to come in, I decided on taking a quest, mainly to visit Grandpa's grave.

I had hoped vainly that I would remember the general location within the cemetery, but the simplicity and beauty of Quantico is in its uniformity of graves....everything has a way of looking the same. And so I headed into the information/admin building where a kiosk is set up to help visitors locate gravesites. When the computer didn't work, I had to flip through a binder alphabetically listing the basic information for each person and grave location. My second time driving through the cemetery successfully landed me in the right section.

This past summer in Christiansburg was difficult, I saw my grandpa everywhere: in the mountains, the houses we were working on, the bass players of bluegrass groups. Grief is a hard friend to adjust to. It sneaks up and hits when you least expect, a kick in the stomach taking one's breath.

And so I stood in that quiet, peaceful cemetery and I said all the things my heart needed to get out. There was a sense of closure, of freedom and forgiveness.  I loved that foolish man, who held parts of himself back, and I will always carry his love for music deep in my bones.

It is fitting where my Grandpa is buried. He was always popular with the ladies, and it just so happens that he is surrounded by ladies on either side. :o)

Settling In....

It's my third week here in Springfield, finally easing into a constantly moving routine of catching sub jobs as they come, catching up with old friends, and pressing in to this crazy process of job searching and discernment.  As I was driving home from dinner with a sweet couple I met before Colorado, my heart felt full. Nothing looks like it did when I last resided here, the community that I do have is scattered and disconnected, and I have no idea what is happening even as soon as next week.... but I am sharing my story multiple times a day and I've found a semblance of family in some unique places..... it all adds to the adventure!

And on days like today, when things are quieter, I hang out with a couple of cool gals.... they are good company.

Poured Out Worship- New Blog!

I started a new blog! www.pouredoutworship.blogspot.com. More to chronicle my thoughts, dreams, and heart for worship. Amygoeswest will be getting an overhaul one of these days, hopefully when I know what direction I'm headed next. Right now I am pressing in a bunch of different directions and I hope when a door opens, I'm ready.

I tried to get my own domain name, but the most logical one, amycox.com is currently owned by some Jeffrey or other in Canada.... and with tight budget constraints...well, it looks like it will stay his. So pouredoutworship.blogspot.com will be it for now, a place with contact info, availability, and what I'm currently doing....interspersed with what I've learned so far and resources I've come across...so exciting! Check it out here

I am thankful for days of rain, but even more thankful that the sun came back out yesterday and the sky turned blue... back to the dreaming and scheming board....

10 Years Later

Ten years ago today, I was a senior sitting in Spanish class. A phone call about the first plane hitting the World Trade Center prompted my teacher to turn on the television. We watched as the second plane exploded into the second tower.  And then we went back to spanish adverbs and adjectives. When the next call came about the pentagon, we abandoned our futile tries at learning, and took turns on the phone calling parents who worked at the Pentagon.

Over the years, I've spoken with people about their experiences on Sept 11, an event we have all been changed and affected by. I've always tried to explain the terror of that day for those of us on the east coast, how normal it is for me to often reflect on the possibility of another terrorist attack.  The pentagon is only 10 miles from my home....it is an easy fifteen minute drive.  Several parents from my school and community were lost that day.  I remember a man from church, was saved by having been out of his office at the time, another twenty feet closer and he too would have been gone.

There are so many vivid snapshots from that day. Asking fellow students if they had heard from their parents. Praying in the hallway with friends and being told to "keep it contained." Holding hands with my dad as he picked us up from school and clinging to his strength. The irony of such a beautiful, cloudless day.  I remember calling my estranged older brother, hoping against hope that he would come home to be with us. Yes, he had seen the fire of the pentagon from his work, and no, he still wasn't coming home.

And yet, September 11 is also a day of hope. Life continues, and we remember those lost and support those who continue to keep this country safe.  It's a time to reflect, to see that we are not defined by one terrible act of violence.  We have grown, loved, and lived over the last decade and will keep on doing so. A moment of silence, of honor, and a thankful prayer that God has not forgotten, He is bigger than all these things.

Oh Virginia, I Still Love You

I used to say that Virginia was awesome for a girl like me because it was best known for its mild weather and limited natural disasters. Since I've been back in NOVA, we've had an earthquake, a hurricane, and now flooding..... just wanted to share what's been going on this past week with friends in the west.....enjoy. :o)

I'm holding out hope that things will calm down and the weather will rest easy.... at least driving in the rain doesn't grip me with panic anymore, thanks to lots of practice!

Room 506

I was lost. First of all, the hospital was quite large with signs everywhere pointing in different directions for all the color coded elevators and wings. And second, well, it was more on a whim than a planned decision that led to my walk through the twisted corridors. I made it to the fifth floor of the pediatric wing, but one set of double doors was all it took to make me question where I was. I slipped into a family waiting room and dialed the operator, "Room 506, please." After a few rings, L*'s voice filled the phone, "Hello?" "Hey, L*! It's Amy. What if I told you I was on the floor of your hospital, popping in to visit, and I'm lost?" And so began a fifteen minute dialogue while her younger sister paced the halls in hopes of discovering where I was.

L*, only a senior in high school, has been diagnosed with Leukemia.  She has begun the chemo treatments and knows that the next six months will be the most difficult as her body responds to the drugs and she remains isolated at home or at the hospital.  It had been a long time since I had seen L*, but a mutual friend had kept me updated, and moving back to Springfield left no reason to not pop by the hospital and see if she was there.

Silly me, I was holed up in the waiting room right next to her room, and so only after a little confusion I was sitting with them, catching up and learning about the complexity and yet hopefulness of a leukemia patient's journey.  L* is a beautifully open and honest young lady and early in the conversation turned things serious. "People ask me if this has affected my faith, and I don't know the answer to that question.  I mean, I don't want to just pray because I'm weak and need God's help, but it's then I need to pray the most...you know?" L* was specifically referring to the days where her body's reaction to chemo are devastating and violent, days where her body lashes out and nothing stays down.  A hard day like that is what brought her back to the hospital before I came to see her.

We talked about L*'s father, who died of cancer eleven some years ago, how her mother and sister basically live at the hospital when she is admitted, and the strain of being sick she knows will inevitably affect her other relationships. But what I love about L*, is her heart for God, for those around her, and for the future.  We talked about our faiths, how God is bigger than the hard things of life, and about dreams beyond this season....college, marriage, and jobs.

I don't know how much else I'll be able to do for L* while I am here this fall, but I've been praying for her ever since.  For her healing, her health, her spirits. For her honest conversations with God. He's bigger than pain, doubts, questions.  He's bigger than leukemia and chemo. I see that in L*'s eyes and I hear it in her words. God is bigger.

Practicum Video!

Finally had enough time and gumption to play around with my practicum video from the School of Worship! Here's a snippet that I uploaded to youtube...if you want to see the whole thing, check it out on vimeo here. 

Almost four months later and most of us from the school have scattered and find ourselves in various places around the world in grad schools, internships, job searches.... beautiful.

Oh Irene!

First of all, shout out to fox news, whose ability to play scary music under their hurricane segments last week really helped viewers maintain an underlying sense of panic. Second of all, I heard a woman talking to a friend in Target today about how people had over reacted to Irene's impact, in her opinion, people only lost power for a few hours, and we only had some rain. I hope she was only talking about the area close to Springfield, because my family in Colonial Beach lost power from Saturday night through Tuesday night and had a bit of a rough patch with heavy rains and winds.

I have just returned to Springfield from a quick jaunt to Colonial Beach the past couple of days. You wouldn't even know the hurricane had hit except for the massive amount of leaves and branches covering every yard. Oh and except for this.... 

If you can't tell, there is in fact a house underneath that tree.  Scary thing is, it's only a few lots down from my parent's house.... I talked to neighbor Robert today, who told me that the owner was home at the time, for the sake of the story we will call him Willy. Willy, well along in years, had decided to make himself a sandwich. He had just put it all together when a knock came to the door...a neighbor checking on him. He quickly put the neighbor at ease that he was fine and that he had a sandwich to get back to. The neighbor left and Will went back to the kitchen located along the back of the house. And crack!... the tree falls on the porch and front part of the house where Willy and the neighbor had been conversing only moments before.  

From everything I heard, no one was hurt.  But the trees are quite large and it only takes one huge branch to do some damage. There were other houses that suffered damage...luckily the family is fine and the power came back on so I could visit Mitch and get my car repacked.... next stop, a fall of substitute teaching and job applying!