It has been a rough couple of weeks. Family members back home were in the hospital, my car kept having expensive difficulties, and I found it really hard to be here in Colorado Springs. My normally optimistic self had traded in for a grumpier model and I felt really unpleasant to be around. I withdrew from community a bit, both necessary for whatever my heart needed to work through and also to press in to what we are being asked to do this module...which has equated to a lot of writing and work.
But everyone at home is doing better, no one is in the hospital, I've settled in to knowing that if God has financially led me this far, he won't abandon me in the last few weeks, and I can't let the overflow of my heart continue to be bitter and negative. The turning point came some time this past week...and was cemented in our all staff chapel on Thursday. It was such a sweet time of worship and prayer, taking advantage of the National Day of Prayer, we took the hour and a half to sing, pray, and read the psalms.... God met me where I was, and gave me such peace.
I've just been questioning a lot lately, what's next, how do I get prepared, do I have to move to a completely new town again? And I think those along with worries of home had really taken their toll. 1 Peter 5:7 says, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." Well, Jesus and I had a lot of long talks the past couple of weeks, and I am so forgetful. Many of my worries come from when I forget the red seas that God has already parted in my life and I become like the Israelites grumbling about how great they had it back in Egypt. But God is good and faithful to remind me how far He has brought me and that I haven't even stepped in the water yet....
This song really became a marker of my last couple of weeks.... something that I truly believe:
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